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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Getting It Together

Well I have been on Peggys new site posting away yesterday. And it is working for me. I have started a exercise ,and water challenge. Posted my weight and measurements. I have posted a study in the chapel there on Women of the Bible. And also started cleaning my house , posting what I do each day. Then in Psp part I started a WWO thread where I am planning on making a tag and offering it to whoever wants one. Posted and played the games. I have been having a good time there. But mainly it is helping me so far to work on achieving my goals to a new me for the new year.
Today was a little scarey as my hubby was almost in a diabetic coma. I was fixinfg his breakfast and thought he was just asleep. The home health care nurse came by and couldn't wake him. His BP was low and his suger was only 50 . We did get him awake enough to feed him some ice cream as I didn't have orange juice. So kept feeding him that and got him to eat a bite. Finally we got the levels back up to a better number. He did go back to sleep after they left. But I woke him back up so he could go to dialysis . They wanted him to eat some more before he came but I could only get him to eat peanut butter and graham crackers. I know when he gets out he is going to be worn out and be sleeping again. I was reading Job today and thinking about that story. So with everything that is going on here I only can begin to hope that I can hang on to my faith ,for not only myself but for my hubby and son's sake. I believe that everything will be alright but yet sometimes worry and fear try to creep in. I did play some of my gospel music yesterday while I was making my bed but guess I need to play it more often. As it does uplift me and strengthens my faith that nothing is impossible with God and He will work it out.
And I know that if my mind is on God He will give me peace. Just need to keep my mind on Him and not the situations my loved ones and I are in.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Feeling Pretty Good

I didn't get up today till noon. But felt pretty good all day. My hubby had went on and fixed his self some cereal so I didn't have to fix anything just give him his meds. I went on and folded up the linen on the sofa so he wouldn't be laying around sleeping all day. He would have to sit up in the recliner. Or could lay down if he got really tired. He did go to dialysis early today and when he came home said he was cold. Didn't want anything to eat . So when I get off here I will be going to make up the sofa for him and fix him something to eat anyway so he can take his meds for the night.
Today my son helped and did pick up some of his things and put stuff away. Took his dad to dialysis and then came back and vacuumed my floors. I picked up and straightened some things in my living room and cleaned my kitchen. Even mopped my floor. That was a big thing for me.
My friend Peggy started a group on Yuku http://kaleidoscopeplace.yuku.com/directory
and I have been over there most of the afternoon posting. Her group has inspired me and has me excited about making changes in my life for 2009. It is set up in sections and she has a section based on FlyLady where you get your house cleaned by doing a little each day. a section pertaing to losing weight with challenges, weigh ins and other things. A Chapel where you can have a bible study or post any christian posts. Recipes, Psp , hobbies, and games also a general area. I just love it as I want to make a change in my life, spiritually, physically and of course get my home cleaned. And I think this site will be a big help in motivating me.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

A Normal Day For Me Anymore

Today is another normal day for me. Boring and depressing. My hubby kinda got upset with me when I told him he needed to get up and start moving around instead of laying around all day. He said ,"Yeah Nancy I am going to get up and get out of here so I won't be in your way." Then I got angry and said he wasn't in my way I had just thought he would feel a little better. As laying around just makes you tired and weaker. I can imagine that he is feeling depressed with everything he has gone through and that he doesn't feel good. But can't see where laying around and not trying to move around is helping. He just waits on me to do everything and I know he can do some of it. Lord knows I am stressed out. I love my hubby dearly but I just want to get away for awhile but know that I would be worried about him by his self. Been crying again this morning and praying. I look at the mess my house is in and that is upsetting to me as I have no one to help clean it up. My son and his friends mess up and go off and leave it. I need to do laundry too. There is so much that needs to be done and I just don't have the energy to do it. Everything is so overwhelming I just want to go to my room and cry. I have wondered Lord what did I do to have all this come upon me. If this is some kind of trial or test I am going through I sure hope I pass it and it is over soon. Seems like we have been in this valley of misery for a long time and I want us to get back to the top of the mountain of happiness.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

A Beautiful Day

Oh it is such a beautiful day today. I can hardly believe it after yesterday. But the sun is out and it is supposed to get up in the 60's today.Well it is starting out good, my kitchen sink has been stopped up since before Christmas and I did put some bleach in it yesterday and again today. And Thank God the water has run out and it is no longer stopped up. I am not sure whether it was grease in the pipes or frozen somewhere but I can use my sink now so that is all that matters. I have started doing some laundry as I do want to get that out of the way. Then I hope to start getting my house back in some kind of shape. It will not be easy since my son is back here for awhile and so my things have been moved to make room for his stuff and still he has stuff piled up everywhere. I have no attic or basement to store his things so needless to say it is spread out all through my house.
I am feeling so much better than I was yesterday so I do believe the weather has a lot to do with our moods. I am a little worried about my husband though. He didn't feel right yesterday and didn't want to eat, he just slept all day. Though I did get him to eat a couple peanut butter & jelly sandwichs last night. He got to looking at his arms and said they didn't look like his. He was a big, strong, muscular man and now he is so bony and his hair is coming out and he is upset. I tried to tell him this does sometimes happen to people when they get older.
Today he did eat a omelet , slice toast and some oatmeal. Drank a little milk when he took his meds. But he was talking about he was in everyones way. I did tell him that was crazy as we all loved and needed him. He is really down in his spirit so please remember him in your prayers. He does go to dialysis today so hope that will help his spirit a little though it does wear him out physically.He has been sleeping all day today too. I will be so grateful when he starts feeling better. It really hurts me to see him this way.
I am hoping the New Year will be a better one for my husband, son and of course me. I am hoping my husband will be feeling more like his old self and starting to get out . That my son will have a good job , find a place he can afford and be able to be with his son. And as for me I want to renew my spirit and find a home church, lose weight and be healthier , and give my home a thorogh cleaning and new look.
Losing myself ,I want to thank you for your comment. We will always want the best for our children no matter how grown they are and have them in our heart and prayers. I have learned that we have to put our faith in God cause there is nothing we can do anyway. They make mistakes and sometimes get hurt but we can hope they learn by them and just be there for them when they need us.
I didn't know that was your sister's blog. I have read her blog and I do like her writings. They give me pause to think so I enjoy them.

Friday, December 26, 2008

A Cold Wet Dreary Day

It has been cold , foggy and has been misting rain all day. This evening it has started raining heavy. When it rains it seems like I get depressed. Especially at winter time. Rain in the summer is refreshing and I love the smell.
Today wasn't a really good day to start with. My son's fiancee wanted him off the lease and since he wouldn't break it she decided to get a protection order against him. Thus the landlord had to remove his name off the lease and he had to move out. Some things he wasn't able to get moved as when he got served the papers he was only allowed to take his clothes. So besides him not allowed around her or his son we didn't get to see him either. She lied to get the order and now I had to get him a lawyer today. And believe me it was not cheap.
I got mad and wanted to hurt her, then I was hurt and did a lot of crying. Some has said if she is going to fight dirty we need to do it too. But we are not going to do that. As I feel what goes around comes around and she is the babys mother. She will no longer have a babysitter so she can go out or to work. And will no longer have the use of a car.As my son kept his son all the time and took her where she had to go or let her drive the car. Her family won't do it. So I believe she just may regret what she did. I am beginning to believe too that this may be for the best. I have learned so much about her that I didn't know so I am glad my son is away from her. If she hadn't done this and he had left he would have still been around her. This way maybe he will move on with his life and find someone new. But first we want to get this dismissed, visitation rights and hopefully he will get full or joint custody of his son.
What the enemy means for bad , God turns it around and let's it be good.
So I am trusting God that everything will be alright.